Resolutions

I decided a whole new plan for my extreme make over for my look, and my personality, not that my personality don't rock but some stuff has to be changed as I'm gonna be 23 this year.

1* I Always wanted to won 1 of those flat stomaches and fitted body with some muscles, not that I'm chubby but I've got some curves and love handles I would love to shape them. As soon as I acomplish that I'm gonna have to accessory it, so I will get a belly peircing maybe soon, also my tongue maybe with extra piercing for my ears. Plus I wanna have couple of tattoos.

2* My style, I have a sporty look as I adore the simplisty of it and the cuteness that comes out of it, so I'm jus gonna upgrade it a lil bit, and have other styles as I don't like to stick to 1 style all the time.

So in order to achieve these goals, I've been dieting and excersizing for a month now hopefuly I will get what I want in the end.

Wish me luck Ya'll. xoxo

Someone Like You

Now I'm setting on the edge of our bed, feeling cold, scared, and tears are falling to top it all. He's on his side of the bed, smoking and watching the T.V., I hug myself and my arm hurts, I look and its bruised, red and purple, I've seen it before, yes I've been there before, and oh how much the pain feels the same. I close my eyes and I get slamed left and right, up and down by memories of a heartless bastered, a beast, someone rediclously weak to admit it all, I opened my eyes now and I cry more, surprisely I got his attention. He looks at me, I look right back at him, and I don't see a soul inside when I look at his eyes, those eyes are not the same, its reflecting evil somehow, and I feel like its the first time I know what he's thinking of, I feel like I understand now.

At this point I realize how powerless I am, At this time all I want is to get out and never return again, never come back, I'll never be the same again. He asked about my unstopping tears, I asked about his roughness, I gave my tears a confused reason, and he's reasons were more painful than the scare. There was no point of me staying, So he kicked me out and I refused to go out this weak, I Don't Wanna Leave now, I don't wanna be forced anymore. He just Don't want Me Anymore, why is it Too Hard For me To Understand, he kept yelling at me then the cold silence rushed in and stopped everything. Then I asked to leave and he walked me out, disgusted with me, like I'm the one who went wrong with it, I left.

Keep On Falling

A fall is an end to what ever it is going on in our lives, and what comes after that is a new chapter, a new move toward new beginging. The end is never the finish line, the cause of that is if were motivited or not we will get pushed to another level by the circle of life. What not kills you may and may not get you stronger, in fact it has a big shot in breaking you down and destroying your courage much faster, but it also prove that you guranteed yourself a new chance, and new start in your life, as a signal to change, or build a new steps to follow in order to have a new picture of the future. It said in life you only got one chance to prove who you are, and you have the choice to be as good as an angel, or be the worst devil ever existed. But that just stupid, and it would be very sad to believe it and live it as a rule in life, cause to live is taking the risk of falling apart, and to fall apart you have to realize that its a wake up call to rewind. So take the fall but don't lose the grap of it all.

The Fest

Give me a cup, let me drink some of your sorrow, and I'll feed you pieces of my misery, and yes we will have a fest. We'll wear black and grey dresses, you can also wear white if you gave up for the stray. Invite all the damaged souls, shattered minds and broken hearts, let them all embrace their lost wishes. Now take my hand and dance with me on the rhythm of screaming eyes dropping tears like its mid-winter, wet, cold, can and would knock you down. If I slip, let me enjoy the fear and the actual fall, let me take a bite and taste the bitterness it will make me feel like it should, power less although I had the strength to face it. Its easy to go far down to the darkness, but its hard to raise up and face the sun although its so clear, we just keep moving away and hiding from it. At last please collect yourselves from the lost and found area and shut the lights down before you leave the fest.

Pure Nudity

I went out nude and I don't wanna be seen, what a hypocrite, but that who we all are. I pretend to be insane, to be forgiven and excused, because the only reasons I would choose nudity is either I'm a cheap whore and going public, or I've lost my mind, and dignity is way important than brain, I just need to stop judgement and gossip. How could I hide when I chose to be completely clothe-less, who would avoid to stare? I would not stop staring at me. If I wanted the cover why did I go out without anything on? If I did not want people to talk why did I give them something to talk about? People talk wither your good or bad, and for some reason they never mention any good about you as if your pure evil and their angels when the truth is they only pointing fingers. But talk is air, pictures are prove, and maybe its only an innocent mistake and your only a human, but people won't ever look at it that way, and its funny how when your nude your exposed, while when you wear something you seem to be hidden. So I guess I better put something on so I can disappear from the public eye and be lost in the crowed.