Thursday, 29 July 2010
Wednesday, 28 July 2010
I’m stripped down
As fear could not dress me
I’m already awake
As night could not kill me
Seems its easier to bleed
Than to heal the pain
Seems its easier to run
Than to be saved
I’m a stranger
As no one could attach me
As my life ruled by the typical
What about my story
Time is a waste of my glory
Pretending to disappear
But I can’t hide behind air
I’m a very convincing liar
I fooled my heart more than I desire
Tuesday, 27 July 2010
We say it only words and it easily to be ignored but sometimes this idea about words are wrong, words can be sharper than a knife, it can be used and adjusted to hurt others and leave them with damaged broken self-esteem, plus angry mad raged feelings which could quickly lead them to almost kill more than a person.
People can be good by shutting up, but they still can shout and be very right. Not all wounds are healable, some can get fixed from the very beginning, some take time until it fully recovered and there is a lot that can’t ever get fixed.
She was so blue, tears were burning her up, she let wrong thoughts to take control. Sleepless nights, a day comes with cigarettes in her hand.
Because of her beautiful spirit, because of her strong desire to taste life and because she is always blue, she took a pack of cigarettes with a lighter to try forbidden game but it was under her nose, bad habit to get addicted on. She loved the rush of having smoke dancing between her lips, and flying away as she blow, she hated the smell of it and how it captivate her from having a breath, but couldn't lose her passion for cigarettes.
The reason why is simply because it have a similarity to herself. Cigarettes remind her of herself, keep her updated with the fact that she is burning and fading down, and for once she felt she is surrounded by the brutal reality. All the past pain was for her a part of a scary nightmare, but this explain for her what she is doing right or wrong. She knows she have been addicted to mistakes lately, however she have the right to make a lot of mistakes. She could fall or push herself to deadly holes in entrusted ground; however she is not afraid of something she had choked it in her hand, tied between her fingers. It's for her another toxic poison she is giving herself a treat with another shoot as she is taking from life.
Fear is not an element in smoking to her. She is afraid people would not understand her and for some reason nobody will love her, she keeps trying being only herself, it works but then people just change and things go back to the base. She feels bad because she love to make others feel good and happy, somehow when people leaves after watching the same acts from anyone we give ourselves a very harsh blame as she have done and for nothing.
She love to be kissed, and kept kissing her cigarettes, played with it smoke, some gets in and make her choke, and some she blow. She loved to watch the smoke fly in the air in sexy dancing moves. She absolutely hated cigarettes because of it effect on her health also her look and how it could easily destroy her, lock her inside death box and become a faster ticking bomb, still something always tempt her for more, it’s the happy free smoke that always comes with the burned cigarettes, like a lady teaching her to dance, not that she is a lesbian, she just sees what guys use to cheat on their girls and why they are so fantasized about, and how its not easy for them to quiet because it’s the only beautiful affair their girls agree on.
We chose to define the stitches which hold life image load and clear, it’s a kind of a way to get satisfaction. We look for any way to get an explanation for everything. Mostly we sail too deep and look at the smallest things that seems to have everything when it just far enough to not be counted down as a definition.
Things that need to be stuck in our minds are the things we don’t give attention to, things are too close we taste and touch but deny it, when these things could be the truth and the definition we are seeking for, however we still walk away because it didn’t kill us to find the truth. The truth is nothing impossible it just the things that unbelievable.
We keep looking up when the heavy things are down. We always say the right things and advice the right tips when it good to listen to our advises. One of the things we never do is we never check our flaws but we are a very recommended detectives when it comes to check other people imperfections. We are very curious to know what mistakes other people make and we fall to bigger mistakes. We demand perfection from everyone and everything when we can’t be perfect.
Pretending to like the people around me is a career of acting, which means I’m kind of an actress. Time runs too fast when fun starts and some how when I’m captivated in Mr. Michael class time does not even run, it walks a bit then stops, and then it decides to walk again but then again it stops. Anyways, when class starts most of Mr. Michael words are used to define ACK rules and our own instructor rules, which I hate so much it makes me feel I want to throw something at him because he talks too much and that’s not fun at all. I prefer working on activities on hearing a lecture about references and how to use them, well the reason why is pretty clear I’ve been working on stupid things like these the moment I walked in ACK classes, I don’t need to hear a referencing lecture when I’m graduating.